Learn to Forgive

Prior to the current surge of interest in scientific research on the subject, the importance of practicing forgiveness was extolled in both religious and psychological traditions. Research has now confirmed the virtues of forgiveness in the promotion of psychological and physical health, as well as improving relationships. Forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger, hurt, depression, and stress - while leading to greater feelings towards optimism, hope, compassion, and even self-confidence. But most important - and this is the crucial message coming out of research - people can be taught to forgive, just as they can be taught to play the piano.

Forgiveness wipes away the reasons for us to be unkind. That is both the purpose and the goal of forgiveness. Forgiveness plucks that excuse away and says, "Now, it's not that this or that happened, it's that you no longer have any crutch to hold onto for your unkindness." That's the purpose of forgiveness. It's not to reconcile with people who have hurt you, and it's not necessarily to heal physical wounds - although it will because forgiveness has a healing quality as well. But its purpose is to nourish the whole. And it nourishes the whole by example and by reducing our readily available excuses for unkindness.

Source: Frederic Luskin, Ph.D
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